She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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