so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
