Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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