Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
