His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
