Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
