So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
