I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
