I like my sex mixed with concussions.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
