R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
