Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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