I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
