1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
