I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
