Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
