I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
