He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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