if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
we're so committed to being not committed
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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