I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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