Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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