I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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