Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
