dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
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its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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