i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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