Tell her she can't have a vagina
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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