I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
