Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
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I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
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