You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
