So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
