I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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