All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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