Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
