it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
