Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
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I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
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For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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