i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
My boob is missing a layer of skin
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
