so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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