shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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