I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
My ass is underappreciated
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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