Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Threesome in a minivan. New low
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
