And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
