honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
