how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
