how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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