honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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