i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
