I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
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