dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
