Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
