Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
