He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
