is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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