you guys were way drunker than both of me
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
