the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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