sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
