You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
