Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Found your dick twin last night
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
