Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
