if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
