I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
