all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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