im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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