Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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