You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
My sheets look like a crime scene.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
