I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
