All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
