I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
